Proper assertiveness always involves a request of some kind. Beyond that, they like that you keep trying to make them understand that you love them. More importantly, they signal your willingness to offer secure love. It's the classic narcissistic argument, where no matter what she says or how she says it, everything that comes out of her mouth is hurtful, hateful and wrong. They act accordingly based on their own delusions and fallacies and make no apologies for the harm they cause as a result. It helps them to keep you feeling low about yourself and inflate their own ego. You can try to explain that your motives are not negative, that you don't hate the narcissist, you don't think they're garbage, or whatever else but the narcissist has been listening to this internal dialogue their entire life and they are completely and utterly convinced of it.
Doing so may hurt you more than you think. Join over , readers. To learn more about the science of a successful life, check out my new book here. This form of digression exaggerates one perspective to the point where a social justice issue can become completely obscured. This is the experience, interaction, or action that causes the feelings. Calling them a jerk or criticizing their behavior only makes them worse. They chronically jump to conclusions based on their own triggers rather than stepping back to evaluate the situation mindfully. They don't like "letting the narcissist get away with" the things they are saying. But what about what you want? We attempt to communicate. The Narcissist In The Corner Office The knee-jerk advice everyone gives when dealing with a workplace monster is to report them. Though at this point you probably feel like a very frazzled one. All psychopaths are narcissists, but not all narcissists are psychopaths. Even things you did in the past that were OK at the time are now viewed through this lens and found to be evil. Each and every time you attempt to provide a point that counters their ridiculous assertions, you feed them supply. Narcissists come in many flavors grandiose, covert, communal, etc. It ultimately acts as a digression that avoids ownership and accountability. In their eyes, you are the problem if you happen to exist. Sometimes you can actually see the relief on their faces. Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic that can be described in different variations of three words: Proper assertiveness always involves a request of some kind. It has nothing to do with actual reality or anything you are actually doing. They are not going to hear it. The power of having a validating community is that it can redirect you from the distorted reality of a malignant person and back to your own inner guidance. But that is when the people who truly care about you will show empathy.
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