It's a complex and painful situation because no two stories are alike. This is the time to find out. Some track down the "other person" to demand answers and engage in confrontation. You may have to figure out what infidelity means to you. It might really help you let go of the pain of this situation so that you can fully move on. Write down all of the ways that you feel wronged by your partner's infidelity. Sharing personal details with a close friend? Before having this conversation, sit down and think about what you want to know and make a list of questions. Allow yourself time to grieve and then channel your anger, frustration, and pain into something positive.
Really, it all depends on your comfort level and the boundaries you have set in your relationship. It's definitely easier said than done but once you give into anger, you could end up doing or saying some things that you will regret. It's really devastating to imagine that your partner could expose you to potentially life-threatening viruses, which will be something you will have to work through in your own time. You will want to take some time to see how you have been affected so that you can emerge strong and healthy. What have you wanted to do for yourself but keep putting off? Also, some people consider anything cheating that they wouldn't do in front of their significant other. Sometimes, it just helps to talk to someone who is removed from the situation and can be unbiased and objective. Most people will experience dark times at some point in their life. Instead of trying to understand how things ended up the way they are, think of all the ways in which your life can be better moving forward. Don't give in to these temptations. So many people blame themselves for their partner's actions and discover that they have insecurities that they never realized. Take a hot shower, cry as needed, and allow yourself a few moments to digest everything you have learned. If, during this process, you get stuck on certain aspects of the situation, it might help to ask your partner for clarification. Add to it as needed. You might want to scream, break things, be confrontational, or otherwise destructive. This is an opportunity to give yourself the attention you deserve. Before having this conversation, sit down and think about what you want to know and make a list of questions. You can hear what they have to say if you choose to but, ultimately, only you can decide what is right for you. This can make it even harder for the betrayed partner to hear the truth. Along the same lines, not every instance of cheating is going to involve sexual intercourse. While it's easy to claim that people cheat for sexual gratification, the truth is that many are actually seeking an emotional connection. Do not ignore lingering feelings of anger, anxiety, or sadness. Surprisingly, even those who had cheated often said similar things. Therefore, it might take more time to recover from this type of situation than if you found out your partner was flirting with a coworker. Some might try and fail at reconciliation. When working in crisis intervention, many of my counseling clients described feeling shocked and shaken on a fundamental level.
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